Hard Act To Follow

When I fall short of living an exemplary life for my daughters, I have no one to blame as I was provided the perfect role model to emulate, my Mother.

She is the living embodiment of all that is good and pure. She sets the standard as to what it means to be a virtuous wife, mother and friend. Although physically petite and somewhat frail she possesses great strength and stamina. She has always placed God, family and home first in her life, and in that order. She is the only truly selfless person I have ever encountered.

One would think after having been raised by such a woman I could have picked up at least some of her characteristics. Seems like the simple Theory of Proximity would have come into play at some point in time. Not only did I manage to avoid “catching” her strongest traits, I actually perfected many she doesn’t even possess.

My Mother could stand on her feet 12 hours a day, checking groceries, come home, cook dinner while simultaneously calling out spelling words to whomever, put the entire family down for the night and then pull out the Singer, where she might sit until the wee hours of the morning sewing. Might be an Easter Dress, Carnival Costume or patching Daddy’s khakis. I have fallen asleep many nights to the hum of that sewing machine only to awake the next morning to find my Mother, up, dressed, making breakfast with no sign of the Singer in sight.

I only mention this as I can’t recall one instance in my entire life of my Mother ever complaining. She never took naps and by all accounts appeared healthy, rested and unshaken. The pressures of life never seemed to get to her. I have to admit, in the past, I’ve been known to crumble on the kitchen floor in tears just reading the PTA notice requesting I bring cookies to Open House.

My mom offered the Singer to me when my kids were younger and I passed. Rather, I chose to hot glue their Girl Scout patches directly onto their sashes, which initially worked, sort of.

My Mother never said an unkind word to or about my Dad. Even when it was readily apparent to total strangers he was being a horse’s ass. Albeit a lovable ass. I lived with my parents for 18 straight years and never witnessed an argument. Never. I know they argued – I just don’t know where or when. It wasn’t like they could have walked over to the west wing of the house for private conversation.

Again, I clearly took a different approach with my children. I considered myself more straight-forward and open about sharing disagreements. As I look back, I wonder if my girls realized what a “treat” they were witnessing. Perhaps I should have followed my Mother’s lead.

My Mother never smoked, drank, cursed or gossiped. But the cool part was she never commented on those that did. Material items mean nothing to my Mother. Her wedding ring and a watch my Dad bought her in 1970 are the only pieces of jewelry she wears or cares anything about.

So let’s recap here. My mother is loving, kind, caring, selfless, non-judgmental, hard working and devoted to God and Family. Whew! I hope my daughters appreciate the sacrifice I made by not leaving them such an act to follow.